Colorless Magic

I'll close my eyes tonight,
waiting for a dream to happen,
as I smile one feigned blithe,
I fall into hopelessness again.

Remember when we used to believe
in all our fairy tales and wishes?
Those memories are what I try to relive,
I'm trying to fan flames from the ashes.

And I end up scattering myself;
can I regain what I used to have?
I'm like one of those books in a shelf;
dusty, torn apart, unwanted, unloved.

Would you read me, dear?
I'll take you back to those sweetest moments,
tell you everything you want to hear,
and embrace you with warm excitements.

But the bliss of your ignorance is bitter
and I'm left lifeless when you pass by,
surely someday I'll recover..
so tonight I close my eyes.

I'll forget about you and how much I love you,
coz it's just not worth the pain anymore,
I doubt that you'll love me too..
but at least I know three years hurt less than four.

Romantic Thievery

I wonder how it feels like to be so close to you,
to touch your fingers and hold them tight..
How I wish this simple dream to come true;
this small wish to find its way to the light.
Yet I can only write the words of this fantasy
on a dream that fades itself away too fast,
and I'm beginning to hate it more, this reality;
that what I thought we had, what I had, would last.
Driven only by cold coffee on this dry mid morning trip,
pulled back by a wounded ego and an injured heart;
I try to sedate myself through frozen bitter sips
of what once tasted so sweet now the taste is torn apart.
Writing everything down as if for you to read,
what I can't say may these lines be able to tell;
that I am crippled, in pain, unable, because of what you did;
unable to to recover - I'm cursed to be forever unwell.
I am hopeless, as Hopelessness' private slave;
I am foolish, as Martyrdom's romantic tragedy;
I am broken, as Bravery has lost its glorious glaive;
I stand on the same ground, waiting eagerly - desperately.


This is all just a dream and I can't wait to awaken..
Slitting my wrists and enjoying the numbness and pleasure,
intoxication has robbed me of all physical pain,
this is reality and I knew it all along, that's for sure.

Four Eight Seven

If you can save me then do it, not with words but with what you can do. If you could save me just for one night.. maybe that night will turn to forever.

But you already took the biggest part of me, that's why I keep on chasing you, keep on hurting myself; not to get what you took from me but to take your hand and hold it forever. I don't know why you're so dear to me, why I fell so deep in love with you, that I always hold you on top of everything I do. And I fear you.. I fear losing you, to even touch the sleeve of your blouse horrifies me; leaves me breathless, makes my heart beat like crazy - and that's just the thought of it. I never imagined it to turn out this way, I always dreamed about having you with me but now I'm happy with just you smiling for me. It breaks my heart and soul, the way tears show when overjoyed; I'm so pathetic that I don't even have the courage to look you in the eye, coz every time I stare at you I melt in my shoes; my mind goes blank; and you're the only one I see and hear. The world turns slower, as if trying to extend the seconds spent when you're near me, and how I wish I could control time.. if only I could, I would turn it back to moment I met you and play it over and over again. The feeling of falling in love over and over for the same person, I never knew it could get so sweet. You stole the biggest part of, I don't even know what it is... maybe you took all of me and made me yours. You don't know how much I love you, that I tremble at your voice; so assertive and dominant; so soft and innocent; so powerful and fierce - I could listen to you and never get tired of your voice.

If I can runaway now, I would've done it a long time ago; I just can't. If I could only make you believe in me even for just a minute.. maybe that minute will turn to moments; to memories; to hopes and wishes and a dream come true.

I don't want to lose you.

No matter what you do, what you say, what others do, or what they say; I will always be here for you - no matter how far you are from me, I'll walk that thousand miles just to see you smile.

I love you.

Breath Taken

It struck me like lightning and was louder than thunder,
sent shock more powerful than Earthquake's roar.
Swept me off my feet, she was stronger than a twister;
I've never felt this stolen before.

Cloaked in Mystery's concealing shadows,
yet your eyes stay so sharp and clear;
shinning so bright that it burns all sorrows;
I'm so mystified and captured - it breaks the fear.

You are the wings of my dreams,
the hope in the midst of my despair;
so in love with you, my dear, it seems
I doubt farewell will ever come cross my prayer.

It wasn't part of the plan, more unexpected than predicted;
to fall so deep for you, I didn't imagine this,
but I did hope for this - this, that you so forbid,
nevertheless I pushed through for, no less, your bliss.

If this is Love's unwanted love for you and me,
then I will wrong Love til love makes Love right,
for you who took my breath away so simply,
even if Destiny says us off, then Destiny I'll fight.

Even if you break my heart everyday,
everyday I'll come through to tell you I love you..
Even if Forever exists to hurt me as you push me away,
forever I'll stay and wait til you say "I love you too."

And if all this is not enough to get to you, I won't ask why..
then I'll turn my back so you won't see these tears,
I wiped blood off my chest, but I can't let you see me cry.
Because losing you is my only and greatest fear.

If only I could hold your hand and look you in the eye..
but I always get taken away by just seeing you near.
If only I had the courage to cover up with a lie..
but I always come true for you, I love you, my dear.

Angel

She is simplicity that exudes grace;
she is excellent beyond excellence's reach,
wrapped with lore by Wisdom's embrace;
she is flawless law that I'll never breach.


Reluctance has abundance in my heart,
that Fear overwhelms me whenever she's near.
She holds my heart whole and not by part,
if I lose her now Death becomes clear.


But her voice breathes life into me,
simply because she is beauty;
simply because she owns me --
that I swore to love her for eternity.


And she lifts me up from my abyss,
saves me from my weakest phase;
she's an Angel who merits angelic bliss --
she's my star that forever I'll chase.


If I could steal her heart
I'd rather not! I'll play my part;
a thief who mastered his art
yet fell novice to this Angel's trepid depart.

Heart Stolen

I miss her voice, her sweet little song,
that sings to me every time she speaks.
It didn't matter much if I was wrong,
when I hear her, I get dazed for weeks.


I miss her scent, Heaven sent with Heaven's grace,
that my stomach turns whenever I remember..
She merits Heaven's bittersweet haze;
the only perfume I wish I could smell forever.


I miss her eyes, blessed with Luna's bliss,
that shines so vividly t'was most lucent.
The moon must be humbled when it sees
that she still remains bright and innocent.


I miss her hair, dancing like wild fire,
that burns my soul and sets my heart in flames;
that's so fierce it melts me, entire;
that eats up all my petty little games.


I miss the way she steals my breath.
Even if I keep hidden all that I have,
she takes it all away without sweat,
coz I always give her my all, all my love.